Not only do you take special "HE" washing liquid (you just can't use the cheap stuff can you), you are far from being special. I think I would be better off living primitively and washing our clothes by hand. Did you know that if I don't remove my clothes as soon as the buzzer goes off, they smell like rotten eggs. I'm sorry Mr. Washer, but I don't always have time to remove my clothes so promptly. Don't you know I have other chores to tend to? I guess you don't care, do you? You also require a twice weekly cleaning. Aren't you supposed to take care of that? Nasty gunk gets trapped near your door, and cleaning that makes me almost physically sick. I go through mutiple Clorox wipes just keeping you clean. I only want to buy wipes for Wyatt, NOT YOU!
Your partner, Mrs. Dryer isn't too bad, although she can't get our clothes dry in one cycle. Oh yeah, and her "drying sensor" basically sucks. She can't tell when they're dry, and my towels come out feeling like they've just been used. Ugh. I want them to be all fluffy and warm. This never happens.
So, there you have it. As soon as I get the hubby to agree to it, you are out of here Mr. Washer. I would rather have your cheap counterpart. After all, bending down to get my clothes out of a washer wouldn't be so bad after all. I hope you straighten up your act, or no one will want you! Believe me, I don't think you have the best reputation after all.
Your annoyed owner,