Today is one of those days that I wish were a dream. I'd like to curl back into bed, go to sleep and start all over.
It started off wonderfully. We were getting ready to go put in an offer on a new farm we are trying to buy. We've been super stoked about this for months. While I was getting ready, I remembered that my best friend was having an ultrasound this morning for her 12 week pregnancy visit. I decided to send a text and check on things. The response was definitely not what I expected, "No heartbeat. d&c tomorrow". My stomach hit the ground. I've never felt instant sadness and sickness as I did at that moment. I had just sent her an email last night talking about dates for her shower. She had already bought maternity clothes for the summer and a cute bathing suit for her growing bump. This can't be real. She's been my best friend since we were 5. When she hurts, I hurt. I'm so thankful that she's such a strong person though. When she stopped by after the horrible morning she had, I felt as if she were consoling me. Not the other way around. It is so hard to understand why things like this happen. She's such an awesome mom to her son and I know she would have been just the same to this baby.
We talked about how, in times like these, many people doubt God. Not her. Her immediate reaction was, "This is God's will and maybe He is trying to teach me compassion for other women who go through this." What an amazing woman. In a time like this, she sees the blessings that can be taken from this. Don't get me wrong, she's hurting, but I've never before seen just how amazing she was until the horrible day. Her main concern was how she was going to explain this to her young son who already knew that Mama had a baby in her belly.
Please pray for peace and understanding for this sweet family. I know that the coming days, weeks and even months will be hard. I'm just so thankful that she has a relationship with Christ. I can't even imagine how hard this would be for someone who doesn't.